“Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…” A Woman’s View

By Lizbeth Schoen, LCSW-C
Therapy Services
Jewish Community Services in Howard County

We baby boomers are aging.  You may have noticed:  our vision changes, our middles thicken, our faces sag, sleep becomes elusive, joints stiffen, hair thins.  We have hot flashes or we are cold all the time.  We gain weight no matter what.  The list goes on and on.

We are at a time in our lives when our self-image and identity may be shifting as our bodies and our roles in life begin to change.

Children grow up and leave to start their own lives.  We may be caring for our parents or may have become middle-aged orphans.  We become grandmothers, caregivers, widowed or divorced.

As we begin to redefine who we are inside, it can be natural to scrutinize our outer appearance, too, and fixate on the changes and signs of aging.

Every day we face ourselves in the mirror.  Many of us wish we had a different shape or size, a younger complexion, fewer wrinkles, more firmness here, less fat there.  Can we even remember when we last wore a bathing suit in public?  We may struggle to find clothes that fit and that are flattering or stylish.  We try to look more like some ideal image that doesn’t really exist.  It’s hard not to think this way when the media bombards us with pictures (sometimes doctored) of glamorous, young and thin models and celebrities.

How do we value ourselves?  How do we face the challenges to feel good about ourselves as we age in a culture that puts so much value on youthfulness and how women look?

We know the advice and many of us try hard to follow it. Eat healthy food, exercise regularly, learn to meditate, spend time with friends, do something that you find meaningful and purposeful, pursue a hobby, stimulate your brain, practice gratitude.

There are role models for embracing this time in our lives.  Who are the strong, capable women in public life whom you admire because they are making the world a better place?  Look around: what about our own mothers and grandmothers, teachers and older mentors?

But perhaps the most important thing we can do about our body image is, finally, after so many years of resisting it, accept ourselves as we are and as we change. Our wrinkles, jowls, thick waistlines and grey hair are testaments to the lives we lived, the babies we bore, the worries we carried, the million problems we solved, the meals we cooked, the love we gave and the selflessness with which we gave it.
Check out “Women, Websites and Body Image”>>

To learn more about how JCS can help you and your family deal with the changes and challenges of aging, and help you solve life’s puzzles, visit www.jcsbaltimore.org or call 410-466-9200.

Exercising: An Escape and an Opportunity

By Keith Anderle
Administrative Specialist
Access and Volunteer Services
Jewish Community Services

When I was fifteen, I begged my parents to get me a weightlifting bench.  After using the barbells and leg press for the first time, I proceeded to use it daily — as a clothes hamper and homework shelf.

It quickly became apparent that whenever I needed or wanted to exercise, I was much more apt to go outside and run around playing baseball or soccer than I was to sit on an uncomfortable bench. It felt ridiculous pushing or pressing heavy objects that could only be moved with great effort, for what I deemed to be a very minimal reward.  Shortly after that, I began running regularly and I also found a variety of other physical activities that I continue to enjoy to this day.

Many of us view exercising as a chore or something that’s tough to adhere to consistently, what with hectic work and social agendas.  But it doesn’t have to be like this, if you’re able to find an activity that’s both physically enjoyable and that provides an opportunity for you to refresh your mind and outlook.  Exercise is not only good for the body, but it also has been found to improve mood, reduce stress and anxiety, increase energy and enhance self-esteem.

Figuring out what kind of exercise to do is just as important as performing the exercises themselves.  This process of finding the right physical activity is what often prevents us from exercising regularly. Too often we don’t take the time to explore other possible activities before creating excuses such as finding it impossible to enjoy the form of exercise we’ve chosen, or being too busy.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself to find the right exercise for you.

• Do you have natural movements, habits or hobbies that could be slightly modified into exercise activities?
• Do you prefer exercising on your own or with others?
•  Are you more comfortable with a structured activity (like a class) or one where you can go at your own pace?

Once you’ve found the right set of exercises, you’ll likely find the repetitious practice to be enjoyable and you’ll look forward to the activity.  As a bonus, the new found energy you get from exercising will make handling your day easier than before.   The rewards of the activity aren’t just physical, they’re also mentally beneficial.  As a runner, there’s nothing more helpful to my mindset after a stressful day than a good run.  The exercise is therapeutic and it also enables my body to relax afterwards so that I can be better prepared the rest of my day.

As exercising becomes more habitual, it can yield even more benefits.  Besides the physical and emotional perks, you might be able to save money by walking or biking to work sometimes instead of driving.  Exercise could even accelerate your career by giving you opportunities to network through group classes or activities.

Exercising can be a daunting task, but if you’re committed to finding activities that are the right fit for you, it can become a very rewarding one. Many fitness centers and Jewish Community Centers offer one-time free sample classes and short term free memberships that give you chances to try new activities.  Running has helped me — what kind of exercise inspires you?

Living a healthy life is important for us all.  When you need help, you can turn to Jewish Community Services’ highly trained and experienced mental health professionals.   JCS works with families, children, adolescents, couples and adults to develop solutions for life’s challenges and to maintain a healthy perspective on life.

Learn more about what JCS has to offer>>

Call 410-466-9200 for more information.